Do I Have Confidence? Do You?
Do you have confidence? I often wonder if I do!
I look into a mirror, and I see every fault I have. Nothing looks right, and I wonder if I can hide that part or if a diet helps me now. The self-doubt continues on and on.
I actually just did a photographer for headshots, which therapists need to present themselves. The entire time I wanted to (and did) ask all the questions of whether I had the right top or could I pose this way or that way to hide my weight.
Being an overweight woman brings so much pressure and self-consciousness that it really makes us question our self-confidence.
So, I came home really thinking about that, asking myself if I doubted myself, if I didn’t feel okay in my own skin, and if I really had confidence.
So do I? I still ponder over that.
Yet, I can say that I do. I am confident in many ways, but self-image is not one of them.
The tricky part is why we all wonder about their self-image, whether we are attractive enough, thin enough, or anything ENOUGH! So many of us are self-conscious, constantly in those questions.
This continually builds self-doubt and digs, picking at our confidence.
You are beautiful, even in your faults. We all are, each in unique ways, which should show how much there is to see, explore, and create change and curiosity.
Why do we have self doubt and consciousness?
There are so many things each of us does well, with continual talents and skills. I don’t think we look in that direction enough. We often get that feeling of judgment more, even though we are our own worst self-critics.
We often never know what to do, do we? We look for the exact answer we want or need to hear. Is it out there?
After that fantastic photoshoot, I shared with my best friend how hard it was to do it and how awful I looked. I was terrified of the set of pictures that I would have to choose from, and she sent me a metaphor.
The Sunset Metaphor
Think of the beautiful sunsets you have seen in the world, then take a photo.
You look down at that photo, and you immediately think of how this photo does not do justice because of how beautiful the sunset really looks.
You are the sunset.
How do you start coping or helping ourselves build confidence?
You are beautiful because of who you are, inside and out. Yet, how does that work when considering whether we can relate to the sunset metaphor? And why is it so easy to do for someone else, yet not ourselves?
So much of how we deal with self-doubt and consciousness while still having confidence is directly in our train of thought. It is internalized in our thinking patterns and what we have been taught in stigmas, personal experiences, and much more.
We need to give ourselves a bit more grace and self-compassion. Well, we need a lot more.
We often need to look inside to see our strengths and skills. Can you see them? Or would you need a friend or family member to point them out? Because of all my questions, I often need reassurance and reminders of them. Oddly, I find that doing that for those in my life helps me start to see my own a bit easier, too.
But wait...what?
Dealing with confidence layered with self-doubt, body image, and self-consciousness, it does help to see a therapist who can help you look deeper into the cause, meaning, and ways to move forward more positively in your life.
However, sometimes it helps to take a second glance in the mirror or a photo to see what you are really looking at it.
Look for the emotion in you, the experience you are having, and where you actually are and with.
When I took another look at my picture after that photoshoot, I could still see all the faults, but I also saw the laughter and excitement that were present. After my friend’s support and the metaphor, it was easier to view it all from a different perspective.
I will likely always questions myself in a photo because I have never liked being the focus of attention. I’d much rather be the photographer. Yet, it doesn’t mean all my mind is wondering to, which is every fault I can find. And I know so many of you do this too!
We are our worst friend when it comes to building confidence and self-esteem, particularly in body image.
The world has created such a stigma on how to perceive beauty. It has caused so much doubt in ourselves, regardless of weight or gender, leaving us with so many questions.
So, if you struggle with this, particularly if it is causing anxiety and depression, doubting every step you take. Please reach out to someone to talk to.
It can be challenging to hear someone’s view of ourselves, and more self-conscious and uncomfortable with ourselves. I know I often feel like I will be judged more, too.
Yet, why are we all bottling it up and not talking about it?
So, what is next?
If you struggle with anxiety and stress, please reach out for mental health support. A therapist should be able to help you do this based on your unique lifestyle, preferences, and situation.
